When You See Me Cry

When you see me cry

What goes through

Your mind?

Do you think I am weak

Pathetic and and unattractive?

 

 

When you see me cry

What goes through your mind?

Joy, power, glee

Tell me

What goes through your mind?

 

I know you love to

See me cry

And I have cried for you and

In front of you

Several times

 

I cried because I am human

I cried because

That was the only way

I could release my hurt, pain

And frustration

At your brutality and abuse

 

Today

I no longer care

About what goes through

Your mind when I cry

 

Today

I am taking back my dignity

And respect

I will no longer cry

To give you

Sadistic joy

 

I will leave your presence

And your life

And believe me

I will never cry for you again,

Never.

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All I Know

When you left me for Cynthia

I said to my self

“I am finished!”

I cried

And I was sad

Then I said to myself,

‘Don’t be silly

Divorce is not the end of the world

You have a lot to thank God for.’

I wanted to forget Ashley

But I could not

Because

Memories are hard to abolish

And the memories

Just kept bubbling up

Into my consciousness

I knew I had to keep busy

And develop another passion

Then I picked up my Laptop

And began to write

I hit the keyboard really hard

And typed like I was expecting an award

Or a much cherished price

As I typed I would sometimes

Remember Ashley,

Wipe away the tears and continue

I never gave up

I was a recluse

For one year

Because I was determined

To be the best

That I could be

I made sure that I put in my best

After one year

The book was published

And it was a bestseller

Subsequently

The book was turned

Into a movie

Ashley saw me on TV

And called me

He wanted me back

And promised never to betray my love

Ever again

However I said no,

“No, Ashley

I don’t want you back

I love writing

I have a new passion.”

And hopefully one day

A new man

I don’t really care

All I know is that I am happy

And I am determined to be happy

And no one can take away my joy

One thing I know is this

I make decisions

Over my own life

And I am the only one

Who can give permission to others

To mess up my life

And I say no to betrayal and sadness