Don’t build toxic relationships. A relationship that you cannot express yourself in, is a toxic relationship.
A healthy relationship will allow you to express your hurts, disappointments, and expectations. If you are upset, the other person allows you to express yourself without counterattack or shutting off with anger, verbal assaults or silence. You should also allow the other person to express his or her hurts without negative reactions. You cannot dictate to someone how to feel especially if the person is hurt and something triggered it.
A healthy relationship will allow you to talk through problems and work things out. Any relationship that does not allow you to talk through problems and creatively resolve conflicts is a toxic relationship.
A relationship where the offender refuses dialogue, and conditions for peace to be negotiated and met, is a toxic relationship.
Biblical Example and Case Study
Matthew 18: 15
15 “Moreover if your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault between you and him alone. If he hears you, you have gained your brother. 16 But if he will not hear, take with you one or two more, that ‘by the mouth of two or three witnesses every word may be established.’ 17 And if he refuses to hear them, tell it to the church. But if he refuses even to hear the church, let him be to you like a heathen and a tax collector.
An aggressor must be willing to change and embrace peace. If not, he has failed the conditions for peace.
Hagar and Sarah
The Angel of the Lord appeared Hagar and commanded her to go and submit to her mistress. Hagar had introduced toxicity into the relationship and there was simply no need for that. Sarah dealt harshly with her and fled fled Sarah’s presence. When she left the relationship died but God intervened, and she changed her ways and conditions for peace was met.
An aggressor must change for peace to reign. There was no way that Sarah was supposed to put up with abuse and die of heart ache just to please Sarah or for peace to reign. It was not a case of Sarah please forgive Hagar, it was a case of Hagar please repent, behave yourself and give peace a chance.
If you are a Hagar, bringing unnecessary toxicity into a good relationship, please stop. Repent and give peace a chance.
Resist the devil and he will flee. Do not fear the devil because the Bible never instructed you to fear the devil, rather fear God and resist the devil. Keep on celebrating Christ and rejoice in the Lord always. Put on the complete armor of God and pray without ceasing. Thank God in all circumstances and crucify your flesh by the Holy Spirit. Focus on God and constantly magnify Him and His ability to heal, restore, renew, replenish, revive, rejuvenate, revitalize and deliver. See the greatness of God and the littleness of your problem. Flee every appearance of evil and always keep your hands clean. Be as wise as a serpent and as innocent as a dove. These are the practical way of resisting the devil.
May the Holy Spirit comfort you, and guide you in all your ways. Sometimes we forget that we have a comforter, helper, guide, counselor , teacher, helper, leader and director who is supposed to lead us in all our ways. We simply forget him and just wish that all will be well. We go back into the way of thinking like the world. Depending on luck and wishful thinking.
The truth is that we need to rely on the Holy Spirit for guidance and direction. It is only those are led by the Holy Spirit who will manifest as real sons of God. They are the ones that will be different from the world and shine as light to the world. They are the ones that will know their God and do exploit.
Quit wishful thinking and just hoping to be lucky. Seek the Holy Spirit and learn how to hear His voice and be led by Him. He is our leader and should lead us in every decision that we make, including our relationships. Some people keep doing trial and error in relationships simply because they are in the flesh. The flesh can never please God and will always make mistakes.
Some men have tested and sampled so many women until they lost count, yet they ended up marrying the one that they selected from their sampling and made serious mistakes and got divorced two years after marriage. Learn how to hear the voice of the Holy Spirit so that He will guide you in all your ways including marriage decisions.
May the Holy Spirit guide you and comfort you, always, in Jesus name. Amen.
Be humble. God loves humility. He gives grace to the humble, and lifts them up. Crucify pride in your life today. Jesus said that we should learn of Him because He is humble and gentle in spirit. Gentleness is a fruit of the Holy Spirit.
Grace is the only road to the heartbeat of God and Jesus is the grace of God. This Scripture tells us that God gives grace to the humble. Pride is what is keeping a lot of people in spiritual defeat and failure. Anytime you refuse to pray and ask God for grace and wisdom, that is pride and that is the root cause of most of our struggles. The flesh keeps struggling and struggling instead of depending on the grace of God and praying for grace. It is only by the power of the Holy Spirit that we can crucify the flesh. We need help and the Holy Spirit is our helper. If we could do it on our own without the Holy Spirit, God would not have sent the Holy Spirit.
Run to God for grace and help today, in humility. It is only through humility that we can have victory over the flesh and the devil,
Draw near to God. He is waiting. Open the door of your heart to Christ, for His presence to saturate you. God wants to have intimate relationships with us. He wants us to eat and dine with Him at the table of love and fellowship. We can only do this by drawing near to God through obedience, holiness, prayer, worship, praise and faith.
God loves relationships and fellowship. He created us for love, relationships and fellowship. He is the only one that can satisfy the deepest cravings of our lonely hearts. He knows best how to make us happy. He wants us to draw closer to Him and seek Him, His Kingdom and His righteousness first. As we put Him first, He will add all other things to us. He is telling you today to draw closer to Him and open the door of your heart for His fire and living presence to take over. He wants to fill you up and cover your aura live a jacket.