He Left You, So What?


This title might sound unsympathetic but please let’s face reality, it is no big deal. It is not the end of the world, the earth is still rotating  and God is on the throne.

You were not made for each other, period. He is not God’s will for your life. He is just an experience. Take the good memories and discard the bad ones.

If you really love him or once loved him like you claim then forget him, move on, and pray for him to find someone he loves that can make him happy. Accept the fact that he was not happy with you, if he was, you would still be together.

Please realise one thing, it’s not your fault, and not every man you date will love you. You can learn from your mistakes and move into the future. It is better to be solutions oriented than backwards looking. Forget that experience, you will only break your heart by dwelling on what could have been. Negative thoughts act like cancer to the mind.

You can rebuild your life by following the points detailed below.

  1. Decide to be in the will of God

The most important decision you can ever make in your life is to follow the will of God completely. Learn what pleases the Lord and do it wholeheartedly. Don’t focus on selfish desires that exclude God’s plan and purpose for your life. Decide to be happy and joyful in pursuit of God and God will make you the apple of His eyes. He will open doors that will bring the man of your dreams to your doorstep.

2. Learn not to be attached

A healthy mind is the mind that refuses to be attached to anything except God’s will. It is a great error of judgement for man to become attached to possessions and people. Love people but please don’t make any human or object your god. It’s not worth it and will only give birth to heart break.

3. Don’t fall in love until you are committed.

I know this sounds difficult but I know Christians who lived by this principle and as a result, they never suffered heartbreak. Is there any logic or positive rationale behind falling in love with the wrong person? You can’t just decide to fall in love with anyone that you find attractive. Admire and move on but don’t stay hooked because you can never force anyone to be committed to you by falling in love with him or her.

4. Pray

Prayer always helps. Pray to God to direct your steps to meet the right people. The steps of the righteous are ordered of God. If you are careful, thoughtful and prayerful, you will be able to identify time wasters in order to eliminate them from your life.

5. Look good

I am sure everyone knows the importance of looking good. There is no need to emphasize this because so many people understand all too well the miracle of looking good. Looking good can produce physical attraction so it is very useful, however, it is only the wise ones that have realised that looking good alone cannot keep a man hooked. You must build up your character and eliminate negative traits. No matter how good you look, a man will run away if he does not see any substance in you.

6. Dream big

It is very good to dream big. Vision will enable you have focus and direction in life. It will give you a purpose to live and be happy. If you combine your vision with action, planning and organisational skills you will achieve anything you dream of. It is in the place of vision and passion that you will eventually live the life you were born to live.

7. Keep busy

Do you know that you can cure sorrow and heartache by being focussed and busy? A busy mind naturally relegates idle thoughts to the background. If you are unhappy because someone you love left you, it is time to shine. Pick up your broken heart and channel your life towards creative thinking and innovation. Decide to be useful to yourself and humanity by having a passion and fulfilling it. Participate in activities and tasks that will promote you and the people in your life. You will soon find out that that emptiness you feel inside will evaporate into thin air.

8. Have a life

Please have some semblance of a life. There is nothing as annoying and unattractive as someone who is an idle timewaster. Such a person looks aimless and it just seems as if the wind is pushing her towards any direction it so desires. If you are happy by yourself and have a life, you will soon find out that you don’t need anyone to complete you and when you go into another relationship you will add to it. You will not be someone who constantly drains the energy of her partner by making him responsible for your happiness. No one is responsible for your happiness. Your happiness is in your hands, thoughts and actions.

9. Avoid relationship mismatch

How can you date someone who is not on the same page with you? If you decide to date someone you have nothing in common with, you will end up disappointed. There will be no fun, shared thoughts or activities to bind your minds. Forget it, it won’t work. Also, if you are looking for commitment and decide to date someone who is averse to commitment, you are not on the same page with your partner.

10. Forget about emotionally unavailable men

Emotionally unavailable men need healing. They do not have the capacity to make a woman happy until they heal their wounds and decide to be available. Don’t pity them because they will end up scarring you with their scars. Availability is a choice which reveals itself in action. Give him space until he decides to be available or just move on.

11. Give him space

Give a man space. It is very irritating to men when needy clingy women choke them. Please have mercy on him and become more independent. It will heal you and your relationship. Have your own hobbies that make you happy.

12. Wish him well

If a man has broken your heart, wish him well and move on. Holding bitterness and unforgiveness is toxic and will end up harming you. Accept that he is human and you also made mistakes in your judgement. You dated the wrong person.

13. Avoid expectations

In my opinion as a dedicated child of God, don’t date someone who is not willing to commit to you. Even if you date him don’t get intimate with him or fall in love with him. However, if you decide that I am wrong and go for it do not harm yourself with unreasonable expectations. It is definitely not logical to expect exclusivity from someone who has promised you nothing. Even if you sacrifice your life for him do not deceive yourself by thinking that he owes you something and expect him to commit. Free yourself by accepting reality. He owes you nothing. Thank you

14. Keep yourself pure.

Keep yourself pure and don’t get intimate with someone you are dating. Give him a chance to know you and appreciate your personality. Selling yourself cheap is a risk that might backfire when he decides he has had enough. Be wise.


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